Being goal-oriented is an important aspect of getting where you want in life; being goal-oriented can help us in love, too
You can’t possibly accomplish your goals if you do nothing.
This sounds like a would-be quote from Captain Obvious. Clearly you can’t gain anything without doing something; and yet, many of us yearn for growth and improvement without ever slowing down long enough to realize what we need and focus our attention and efforts on our aspirations.
The Angry Therapist has done his best to help us out in our journey toward reaching our goals. He has provided for us an outline to accomplish anything in life; and this guide can be applied to finding that special someone or solidifying a good relationship that just needs a push.
Know Exactly What You Want
It is not enough to have a cloudy idea of what you need out of life. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness is a generic goal; you must define what it’s going to take to achieve your desired state of being. If it is love that you seek, or a more gratifying relationship with your love, the logical first step is defining what needs to change to achieve your bliss.
Clearly and specifically lay out what you need in a companion. Only then, after you have realized the makeup of your ideal partner, can you begin to map out the growth necessary for you to find that partner. Stay away from the superficial qualities that we all tend toward in fantasizing. Be aware that if you meet the individual that stuns you as a person, you will be attracted to that being in a sense that is far more intriguing than any strictly physical pull.
At this point, the microscope turns toward you. After all, no one is perfect, and you must realize that there are self-improvements to be made in finding or keeping your soulmate.
I want to be a better listener. I want to be a better caregiver. I want to be more aware of my lover’s needs. I want to foster the moments of strength and I want to be supportive in moments of weakness..These are clear and acute goals. If you have several, this is good. This means that you are being honest about how much you need to grow, and you should approach this growth in small steps that you are confident you can take.
Be Grateful for Your Gains
In any course of training or improvement, results are the best motivators. Building on your progress creates momentum, and according to the Law of Inertia “an object in motion tends to stay in motion.”
Don’t let your expectations get in the way of your progress. Growth is not immediate; it happens gradually and only with a heavy dose of determination. Your hopeful perception of the future should not be the benchmark against which you compare your daily life and achievement.
If you had a good date, in which you found in a person many of those qualities that you hoped for, appreciate that. If you set out to make your partner smile more and you brought about a ton of smiles in a given day, relish in that small victory. Expound upon little gains. Make them the focal point of your growth and work hard at them, because what seems to be going right most likely is.
So many things are out of our hands, that it makes sense to take charge of the elements of life that we can affect…Don’t sweat the small stuff.